Leave Out All The Rest
by Corinne Jane
Summary: It's funny how things change so easily. One minute you hate one another the next you are in love. But sometimes somethings are just so dark you can't help but feel.  Somethings just rock your world so much, there is no going back.Everything changes.SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is a SLASH fic. A TRONY (Trent/Tony) Based minutes after Pyramid. I do not own ANYTHING. This is just for entertainment. **

He stared at his alarm clock, the red numbers lighting up the room. It was 2:54 in the morning, usually he'd be annoyed at being awake at such an ungodly hour but after the entire Jonas Cobbs mess and having the new SecNav hand him an undercover assignment he thought he'd be in the office for the entire night. However he was let off work earlier than the others, Vance's orders. He had jumped in bed a few hours ago, now he was awake once more, something had been bothering him all night, it hadn't taken long for him to figure it out. Gibbs had returned with Barret and Palmer, but minus Agent Eyepatch. He hadn't questioned, Kort was known to work alone, according to Gibbs that's what got him captured in the first place. For all he knew Kort had just wandered off after being freed from his captivity, but something didn't seem right about that and it only became more suspicious when he asked Vance about Kort. According to Vance it wasn't his concern.

Growling he put his pillow over his head, it wasn't his concern either. So why was he so worried about the Mud-sucking cyclops? Maybe it wasn't worry, maybe curiousity. He had questions about Operation Frankenstein, questions he wasn't particularly proud of having. Sitting up he started getting dressed, his body knowing where they were going before his mind had even decided they were going anywhere's, locking the door behind him he found himself behind the wheel of his car and soon enough where Operation Frankenstein began and ended. Climbing the stairs he kept telling himself the one-eyed teabag wouldn't be here, that he'd have gone by now, however he was proven wrong the moment he set foot in the room. There Kort was lying on his side, his hands still cuffed behind him, a little stream of blood on the back of his head, taking his flashlight out he examined the wound. Wincing at the dark purple and black bruise that covered most of his neck and right back side of his head. Sitting back on his heels he frowned wondering why Kort was left here in such a position when he could easily have a concussion or fracture that could lead to a coma or death. Gibbs would never leave a man behind, yet here was the proof.

To be fair though, Trent had taken a Navy Leuitenant and made him into a monster, in Gibbs' eyes Kort had pulled the trigger on every person who ended up dying in this mess, including Cobbs himself. Looking down at the still body below him, he sighed, shaking his head, Kort may still be Kort but he revealed more of himself the past two weeks then he ever had before, making him question how well he even knew Trent before he hated him. The man had tried to kill him but then again Gibbs had left Kort to die, so he guess they were even now. Sitting back against the wall staring at Kort, who seemed so vulnerable and weak as he lay on the floor unconscious in front of windows that let in the moon and the vast amount of stars. Humans really were little and weak compared to the universe,we meaned so little, we tried to change the world but all we really change is society, the human race will one day die out but the universe will still be here standing strong. He was surprised the weight, and enormity, of the galaxies, of how life really is, didn't come crashing down crushing all humans, that is how gravity works isn't it? But somehow we have weight in a weightless universe and as futile as it is we all try to change the world. To make a lasting impression on the world that no one will ever forget his name, that he'll rise above the universe and become stronger so he'd no longer have to be afraid, and insecure. Most of the time we bluffed as humans. We put on false arrogance to sooth our insecurities, we told ourselves lies to get through the day without a panic attack, we fooled ourselves into thinking we could somehow become bigger than we are. Invincible. The only people who really want invincibility are the ones who have been hurt and burned over and over again, only those with so much hurt could be so terrified of it.

Looking at Trent once more he wondered who had hurt him so badly, that not only did he take a major part of this futile attempt at besting the universe but also of reinventing himself, jumping at the opportunity to be someone else on a constant basis. Not that it was any of his business or his concern, he was just curious, or so he told himself. Unable to see Kort in such a vulnerable position he got up and took out his keys, uncuffing him carefully he gently turned Kort over, cradling and supporting the spy's neck and head in case he was seriously injured, he checked for a pulse, finding a steady one, he tried waking him up, slapping him on the face, sighing he pulled him up, grimacing as he leaned Kort against him, still making sure to cradle his head and neck he picks him up, carrying him down to his car. Cursing at how heavy he was he got behind the wheel of his car panting, his eyes travelling over the man's body, shaking himself he started towards Bethesda. He did not just take a look at Trent Kort's body, as handsome as the man was it was _Kort. _It was a good forty-five minute drive to the Naval Hospital, he prayed Kort wouldn't wake up, but of course God could never be on his side in anything. Half an hour later Kort was moving around, and mumbling about something.

"Don't...Don't do this. Please." Kort mumbled

Eyes widening, Tony clenched the steering wheel, wondering what the hell was so bad it made Kort plead. A million things went through his mind he just remained silent as Kort kept mumbling in a soft plead, "I'm sorry...I was only following orders...Cobbs don't." Tony shook his head as they entered Bethesda's parking lot, picking Trent back up he carried him into the emergency room, watching the doctors wheel him away, not knowing whether to stay or go he moved to leave finding a nurse blocking his way.

"Sir...until we know what's wrong with him you'll have to stay. Or until you can get a hold of his emergency contact. We may need you to sign a waiver or give us permission to do something that may save his life." The nurse said, not looking up at him as she looked through his folder trying to find his Emergency contact. "Here it is. His Emergency contact is an NCIS Agent Anthony DiNozzo, do you know him?"

"What? That can't be right...I'm Anthony DiNozzo, we don't even like each other." Tony said softly, confusion etched on his face, looking at the file, and seeing his name plain as day typed in the Emergency Contact box. Sighing, he takes a seat in the waiting room for news.

It was only an hour and a half later that he was allowed in to see Trent, who was lying in bed stomach down so the ice they had on his neck could rest comfortably on him, his head heavily bandaged, sitting next to him the doctor finishes taking his vitals and looks at his chart. "Seems to only be a concussion with a minor fracture. He was lucky. Wake him up every half hour for 24 hours, he should be fine."

Nodding he watched the Doctor put his chart at the end of his bed and leave; as he himself got up to leave, he heard Trent cry out as if in pain he swivelled around and went to him, placing a hand gently on his shoulder, he watched Kort's face contort as if in agony, rubbing his arm gently, not sure why he was comforting the man but feeling bad for him all the same he stroked his arm until his face smoothed out and he became peaceful once more. Getting up to leave once more, just wanting to be home and away from this Twilight-Zone weirdness, he accidentally pulled the sheets with him, revealing Kort's back through the hospital gown, sucking in a breath at the scars that lay there he resisted putting a hand on the man's back, seeing him shiver he pulled the sheets back on him, frowning as Kort continued to shake, getting a blanket down he threw that on him gently, not able to believe he was taking care of this man. Or that he felt such great concern for him. He continued to feel him shake, whispering his name in his ear, trying to get him to wake up, he calls for a nurse, who takes his vitals and calls for a heated blanket.

"I don't know what good this is going to do him. Physically he's fine. Well as fine as he can be with what he's been through. He seems to be having a nightmare. It must be cold where ever he is, and that's what's causing him to shiver. He should be fine when he wakes up." The Nurse said smiling a little at him

DiNozzo not usually one for ignoring woman that are flirting with him, just nodded uncharacteristically before turning back around to her, frowning, "What do you mean what he's been through? He has a little fracture. That's it."

The nurse hesitating, "With cases such as his the Doctor's can chose whether or not to tell the Emergency contact what happened or let the patient do it themselves." Biting her lip she adds hastily, "However she has to put everything on his chart for proper documentation." And with that she left before she got herself in anymore trouble.

Looking at Trent, now curled up as much as possible on his stomach, still shivering, and trembling, Tony takes out his chart flipping through it, knowing he was invading the man's privacy but knowing Trent would never tell him. Why he thought it was his business he didn't know, nor did he know why he felt so worried and concerned over Kort. Finding the doctor's report on the last page he skims through it, gasping as the clipboard fell out of his hands. Feeling his heart sink to the floor, his breathe knocked out of him he sits on the bed next to Trent, very carefully, hesitating, not use to this unmanly show of support and comfort, uneasily takes Kort's hand wincing not knowing what to expect. Whispering in Trent's ears, "You are safe now Trent, no one can harm you. You're safe and away from Cobbs." Hoping he was heard he pulled up a chair and not letting go of Trent's hand he sat down, feeling sick. How long had Cobbs had Kort before they noticed he was missing? It could have been days. Kort came and go as he pleased you never really knew when to expect him or if anything was wrong. Still he felt guilty. None of them had even tried Kort's cell, they just presumed Kort would be fine, couldn't get caught. They had assumed wrong.

He couldn't untangle the mess that was his feelings, it was impossible, half of him celebrated that the man got what he had coming to him, minus what he learned later, he definitely deserved the head injury. The other half wanting to take it away from him, as he watched Kort who had always been strong, emotionless, invulnerable and four steps ahead of everyone whimper in his sleep. If truth be told it scared him to see this man this way, it freaked him out. At the moment he'd give anything to have Kort back to normal, and not some injured, needy animal. But he couldn't get the scars out of his mind, his mumbled pleads, or the words written on the paper out of his mind. Kort contiued to whimper and claw at the bed sheets weakly. Swallowing, looking around he got up and awkwardly got in the bed next to Trent, nervous and tense as a guitar string he layed on his back, rubbing Kort's back gently through the blankets. To his surprise Kort jumped and moved away from him before moving back, as if Tony was going to attack him. Kort turned around still out of it he rested his head on a pillow, his good eye fluttering before shutting and falling back to sleep. Tony snorted and groaned, hoping no one would walk in on this, his face red, feeling very uncomfortable and strange he hesitantly placed an arm around Trent, whispering again, "You're safe. I am here. Go to sleep in peace."

Tony wipes a hand across his face, nearly jumping himself when Kort's head came to rest on his chest. Breathing in deeply, he shivers and almost moves Kort away but looking at him sleep peacefully, and trustingly he doesn't have the heart to and instead pulls him closer, hoping Trent wouldn't freak out when he awoke. Falling asleep slowly, he prays to God for the first time in along while to take Trent's pain away.

**A/N There will be more not to worry! Oh god when Trent wakes up the shit is going to hit the fan L O L. SO REVIEW if you like it. It will continue from here, with the usual cases and kort going to Tel Aviv well I don't want to ruin it XD So REVIEW, pleeeaase I love you all.**


	2. Chapter 2

When I woke up this morning I didn't expect to feel a soft bed under me, nor did I expect to feel warm and heavily drugged. At first I thought some psycho had picked me up so they can force me to do something for them, like be their hit man. Kind of like that lady in Stephen King's "Misery." I wasn't really concerned until I felt the pillow under me move, that's when I realized that I could also hear the pillow's heart beat, my eyes shot open, the bright light burning them, forcing me to blink back tears, carefully, so as not to wake whoever I was on. Opening my eyes I took in the hospital room, frowning, the last thing I could remember was waking up alone, in the dark in the room we were held captive in. The little pond of water left behind by Cobbs 'training' making me freeze to the bone, I had tried to move but that caused a searing agony in my neck and head. I remember everything fading to black again, but not this hospital room, nor who brought me here. Obviously I had been left behind, that much was obvious, but someone had either came back or came across me and brought me here. But who in their right mind would let me lay on them?

That's when I looked up at my rescuer and froze. I was staring into the face of DiNozzo, my face wrinkled in disgust, trying to pull away but finding myself too weak to I grumbled. Wondering what the hell he thought he was doing in my bed with his arm wrapped around me, like we were lovers. Not in a million years would I ever think of even kissing DiNozzo, no matter how hot he was, or the fact that I hadn't been with anyone in years. With that being said, I was also surprised, I had expected to find a complete stranger, not many people who knew me would bother to rescue me, to get me help. I scowled as I realized DiNozzo had returned for me, and from the looks of it took the liberties of stripping me naked and into a hospital gown. Growling, more at the fact that I owed DiNozzo than anything else, I closed the back of it as best I could, jabbing the NCIS Agent in the ribs as hard as possible. Smirking when I heard the telltale, "Ow!" from above.

"DiNozzo, I hope you are comfortable. Really, I didn't know you swung this way." I snarled sarcastically, wishing he'd just leave so I could pick up my pride and dignity and get out of the country. It was only a matter of time before The Agency sent someone to take care of me, I had become a liability, the only place that I would be safe is Tel Aviv, and even that would be risky, but it was my only chance, I could never settle down in a place for too long. I watched DiNozzo's eyes slit as he glared at me, I smirked, he was always so cute when he got upset, I found his aggressiveness sexy. Just because I wouldn't touch DiNozzo or consider going out with him didn't mean I couldn't appreciate what I couldn't have.

"You were the one that cuddled to me Kort, so don't even start with me. You are lucky I even returned to get you." He said in a threatening voice, narrowing my eyes, curling my lips I remain silent as the nurse came into the room and began examining me, frowning as she took my temperature.

"Well apparently those shivers you experienced last night weren't just from the nightmare. Looks like you were right Agent DiNozzo, something is the matter with him. He's running a fever, looks like he caught a touch of the flu. We'll get you a perscription to be filled. He'll need to take it twice a day for fourteen days. I trust you'll make sure he gets the proper dosage?" She went on smiling at the men cuddled up together on the bed.

DiNozzo opened his mouth, but no sound came out, rolling my eyes I grated out, through a sore throat feeling like razors were ripping it to shreds, "I live alone. I actually have some travelling planned. I can remember to take medication. I'm not an imbecile."

The nurse twirls her black hair between her fingers, "I understand that sir, but with the temperature you have you'll need someone there to watch over you in case something happens. If your fever were to go even further up and you were alone you could easily die. With the temp you have right now you probably are having a hard time moving as it is."

I could feel DiNozzo tensing beneath me, I narrowed my eyes at the young girl in front of me, "I'll work it out. Could you leave now?" I watched her leave, sighing I snapped, "Don't worry you won't have to baby me. I'll be taking care of myself."

DiNozzo snorted, "Yeah because going it alone worked out so well for you the last time Kort." Glaring at him I said coldly, "Do you have a better idea DiNozzo?" I was damned if I was going to let DiNozzo take care of me, I had been taking care of myself since I was a boy, I didn't need anyone else tagging along on my cross-country adventure. Especially someone like DiNozzo who is easy to pick out in a crowd, he'd give my position away in a jiffy. It was bad enough I was told I'd have to give my independence up and trust someone else to care for me in my most humiliating, vulnerable moments, but it certainly was not going to be DiNozzo. I'd sooner trust Cobbs to take care of me, if he was still alive that is. The very thought of being treated like a child, to be helpless disgusted me. I was a highly trained undercover operative and assassin for god's sakes, I should be able to cope with a little patch of the flu. However the nurse was right, I could hardly move. This was going to be painful for me no matter who it was that watched over me, but that didn't mean it had to be someone as annoying and bothersome as DiNozzo either. But what were my options? The Agency was trying to kill me, I had as many enemies overseas as I did in my home country, and no friends or family to speak of, and the money I had left had to go towards new identity's and hotel rooms for the rest of my life. DiNozzo would have to do, now just to convince him.

I heard DiNozzo snickering, "You have any idea how funny it is to watch your face scrunch up because you're thinking too hard?" Glaring at him, I tried pushing away once more, only to have his help, I tensed as he put his hands under my arms, not use to trusting or depending on anyone else, I prepared for the worse, for him to just throw me down, to push me off the bed, to slam my head against something. I opened my eyes as I felt myself being moved, slowly and carefully, feeling his hand on the uninjured part of my head I nearly jumped and batted his hand away before I realized he was making sure he didn't jolt me, or move my head too fast, looking at him I thought I would find him blushing or not looking at me. However he seemed to be concentrating, not wanting to cause me anymore pain than I was already in. I hid my surprise like I do all my emotions since they were useless and dangerous I just let him rest me in the center of bed, and throw a few blankets over me.

"Didn't see you as the mothering type DiNozzo, ever think of having any kids?" I drawled afterwards. Surprised that my embarrassment, helplessness and frustration wasn't showing clear as day.

"Why would I want kids? That mean's I'd have to settle down and marry and then comes the divorce...all just a big inconvenience and hassle to me. No kids." He answered as if he was asked what the weather was.

"Well if it's any consolation I am sure there are some Little DiNozzo's you don't know about running around out there." I smirked as he scowled at me.

"You don't have to be jealous that all the girls are drawn to me Trent. I can give you a few pointers." He said calmly, as he folded my clothes at the bottom of the bed, I laid there watching him like he was insane.

"Yeah would your boyfriend Mark agree?" I drawled. I watched in satisfaction as he dropped my things on the floor in shock, the glee of upsetting DiNozzo was as good as a morphine shot.

"How do you know about Mark? You've been spying on me-again!" He accused wildly, anger in his eyes.

"Keep your friends close, your enemies closer." I shrugged.

"You have no friends Kort." He snapped throwing my stuff on the bed. I sighed, knowing I was going to have to nearly beg for this. Metaphorically speaking of course, I would never beg for anything, especially when it was obvious the answer would be 'no way in hell'. I could hear the silence pressing in on my ear drums, not sure how to ask for this, it had been quite a long while since I ever had to ask for anything at all.

Clearing my throat I looked at the blanket as I spoke in a monotone, forcing myself to open my mouth and just say it. "Come to Tel Aviv with me, just until I'm better. Please." Wincing, I prepared myself for the blow.

"What? You expect me to fly to Tel Aviv with you and take care of you like I'm your fucking nanny? I don't even like you Kort why would I even think of considering this-and I have a job. What am I to tell Gibbs? We are not having this argument. There's no way in hell I'm going anywhere's with you. I don't give a fuck what happens to you. Were not friends Kort!" He snarled.

I knew he was right, but that didn't change the fact that I couldn't move, could hardly speak and felt like shit. If he didn't get me to Tel Aviv and care for me I'd be dead in 24 hours. I cringed as I broke another piece off my pride. "There is no one else. I can't stay here. It's not safe. Do you think I want this? That I want to have to trust you and depend on you of all people? Do you think that's easy for me? I didn't ask for this!" I snapped my voice rising, hissing in pain as I felt knives being driven in my throat, my hand weakly going to my neck, trying to breathe in a gentle way, I winced, feeling DiNozzo pass me a cup of ice, my hands shaking so bad I spill half of it, I was once more surprised when I felt him slip a small cube into my mouth, and even more shocked when he ran a thumb over my bottom lip, I nearly drew away at the touch. I didn't though, because no one had touched me like that in a long time, a very long long time. No one had ever been that gentle or affectionate with me, I felt slightly uncomfortable and confused that it came from DiNozzo, in the end I just sat there numbly, hating DiNozzo for showing me what I was missing.

For as long as I could remember no one had seemed to care for me, everywhere's around me people seemed to care for their friends, lovers, children, but never me. I grew to accept that, and it didn't hurt so much, it couldn't because I never knew what it felt like. And if I never experienced it how could I feel so sad at losing something I never had? It's only in these rare moments when someone seems to care that it hurts, that it shows me just what I'm missing out on. And suddenly I wanted to punch DiNozzo for playing with me like this. Everybody knew he hated me, and yet here he was, playing Mister Bi-Polar, one minute screaming at me, the next showing me affection, I glared at him. Daring him to mess with my feelings any further, I nearly snorted he probably didn't even consider that I had them.

"Well actually you di-" I heard DiNozzo start before he went dead silent for a minute before whispering, "You're right I guess you didn't. But it's not exactly fair for me either." I looked at him confused at his change of direction, too sick to even care what was going on in that skull of his. I honestly felt like a herd of horses had trampled over me, paying special attention to my head, I felt like I was freezing, yet I kept wiping sweat off my face, my throat burned like I was on fire, my head constantly throbbed, my chest felt heavy, and I could hardly move. As miserable as I usually feel this was even worse.

I watched him sigh once more before gritting out, "Fine, I'll go with you. But only until you are better and we are setting up some ground rules. Let me get your discharge papers. And I need to speak to your doctor as well." I nodded as he turned to go, unable to say thank you just yet, I looked at the ceiling thinking about the dream I had had last night, the same one that's been haunting me for days. Shuddering, I swallow, instantly paling, I tried not thinking about it, but still every time I moved I could feel my ass burning, and a little blood leak into my boxers. I wondered if I'd ever be healed down there or if this would last forever, wincing as I tried adjusting myself, I prayed for deliverance.

Just the thought of the dream had sent me reeling back to that small, dark, cramped room, his breathing wild behind me, his steps always the same thick, sure ones, always coming back for the same thing. I felt disgusted when he first took advantage of me but then I just learned to shut down after a few days, I stopped hoping for someone to find me. I shouldn't have gone alone to try to kill him, I should have known better, should have known he'd be expecting me, that he'd be lying in wake. I expected alot of things but to be stripped naked and forced on the ground to be taken advantage of wasn't one of them. I hadn't realized Cobbs was gay. Maybe he wasn't, maybe it was just another form of torture. I certainly hadn't taught him that. I frowned, curling in on myself, shivering, trying to block out the memory of his hands all over me, closing my eyes tightly, I didn't hear anyone enter the room. I didn't realize I wasn't alone until a hand landed on my shoulder and I jumped, jerking away, I managed to find the strength to hit the hand away, weakly turning around, feeling all the energy leave me, I stared up at DiNozzo.

DiNozzo didn't say anything, just held up my clothes, I looked at them closely, surprised to see my sweatpants and an old t-shirt. "You were at my apartment." I said simply, curious that I didn't feel intruded upon.

"It isn't natural to be that clean. You freak." He commented, I chuckled before swallowing painfully, he shoved a medicine cup in front of me, holding three tablets, I took them, reaching for the water, trying my best not to spill it all over, I grimaced as I felt it slipping from my grip, my hand suddenly cramping painfully, the glass shattering. DiNozzo came forward quickly, grabbing my wrist and looking at my hand, letting it go once he realized I hadn't been cut, he took a styrofoam cup and poured some water in it, helping me sit up he put the cup to my lips and gives me enough to swallow my pills. I tried not to look to ashamed as he placed it aside and picked the glass off my bed.

"I had the pneumonic plague once. I was in Quarantine for a while, there was this really cute nurse there, Emma was her name. Naturally we became friends. It was only later, after all the flirting and what not that I realized she was going to be changing my diapers every time I took a dump." He told me, I tried repressing a smile but failed, letting a snort and smirk out.

"You win some, you lose some." I remarked, still smirking.

"Yeah apparently not all nurses find changing a grown man's diapers a turn-on. Big romance killer." DiNozzo said

"Who knew?" I replied dryly, I could see him smiling just a tiny bit, never in my life did I think we could manage a civil conversation. I looked up as he got out my boxers and set the stuff on my bed, I soon realized who would be dressing me, usually I wasn't so modest and shy but this _was_ DiNozzo. He didn't say a word as he pulled the blankets off of me, I could feel his fingers on the back of my neck, working on the bow holding my dressing gown together, I tensed gripping the rails, trying to breath deeply. I knew I would have to trust DiNozzo with dressing and helping me bath but I didn't realize how hard it would be. I mean I knew he wouldn't try anything but to just be touched by another man after what Cobbs had done...I shuddered, flinching as the strings came undone, and his fingers traveled down my spine smoothly to the small of my back where the last bow was, closing my eyes I felt that come undone as well, soon laying naked in front of DiNozzo, I opened my eyes, to find him staring at my body, I sucked in a breath, wanting to hide, to melt and become invisible. I felt the humiliation, my face burning as I tried to cover myself, shame and self-disgust causing me to flinch as I felt something slide up my legs, only to look down and see my boxers on.

I looked at DiNozzo, who looked everywhere's but at me, I could feel his discomfort radiating off of him, and that somehow made me feel safer, better, I didn't flinch as he pulled on my pants and my t-shirt or my socks. Helping me sit up, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders as I weakly stood on shaking legs, I could smell his cologne and his deoderant. They matched perfectly, making me feel lightheaded in many ways, I shuffled closer to have the sweet smell, if DiNozzo was going to be taking care of me he better be ready to be up close and personal, I would never admit that I enjoyed the care he was giving me, I was going to soak up this affection and gentleness while I still got it.

I managed to walk all the way out of the hospital before collapsing in the parking lot, sweat dripping off of me, feeling like my whole body was broken I felt his arms wrap around my waist and froze, flashing back.

_I could hear him coming, I felt my mind go into overdrive, hoping that he would end it tonight, that he would have mercy or someone would kill him, I was sure I'd never feel warm again, as I sat in the corner, curled up, naked, my clothes gone god knows where. I could hear the door of the room opening, my heart began racing as I stood up, looking for an escape I knew was no longer there. The Agency had trained me for capture and torture but it's a whole different thing to be kept captive three days and be the bad guys sex toy. Before I knew it the closet door was open and his eyes widened as I tried running to the other side of the small closet only to have his arm wrap around my waist tightly, he laughed coldly and whispered in my ear, "Oh you can't run from me Officer Kort, I'm not done with you yet. I had my eye on you for a while. Take your punishment like a man." Suddenly I was slammed into a wall face first and he was spreading my legs, my breathing sped up, fear racing through me. I couldn't let him do this to me. I prayed for help, for someone to come and help me._

_But no one was there. I felt the sting of tears, pushing them back I gritted my teeth, refusing to give into him, I grunted in pain as he thrusted into me dry. Trying not to cry out in agony as I could feel myself rip, could feel him inside me, trying not to plead, to beg for mercy, I heard myself whisper, "Please...Please Cobbs...Jonas, please...Stop. Please don't." my voice was cracking, and he just laughed. It felt like ages but finally he was done and I collapsed to the floor, to spend the rest of the night on the floor trying to hold back tears of hopelessness and shame. _

I shove away from DiNozzo, not wanting him to see me like this, not wanting to get him suspicious, it was bad enough he had to see me as helpless as this, if he ever found out what happened, what Cobbs had done, I would be ruined, he'd be relentless, and as harmless as I may think DiNozzo is I won't underestimate anyone again. DiNozzo took a step back, I glared at him as I tried to get up, failing, breathing heavily on the ground, it burning every time I took a breathe I wince, watching DiNozzo approach slowly, he slowly wraps an arm around my waist, I close my eyes, hearing him whisper, "I won't hurt you like he did Trent." My eyes flew open, feeling my lungs growing smaller, I felt myself becoming sick, turning away I threw up all over the parking lot, he went to his car and got a small towel using his water bottle to wet it he handed it to me, wiping off my face I threw it back at him, unable to meet his gaze.

He knew. How did he know? How could he know? I felt a panic start. How long has he known? Shame and betrayal cut through me at once, instantly masking my face I just look at the ground silently, not responding as he tugged me up and to the car. Not responding when he pulled me onto the plane, not even stirring as he began to make dinner on the private airliner. Laying down, I turned away from him, not wanting him to see me. Not wanting anyone to see me ever again, now he saw how worthless, disgusting, and weak I am he'll throw me out like garbage, or he'll abuse me just like Cobbs had. I wouldn't let that happen again, at least this time I have my weapon. Fear and shame pounded in my veins and I almost wished he would talk to me. But I knew how repulsive and disgusting I was now, it's a miracle he's even on the plane with me.

Surprised I admit to myself the thought I didn't want to hear, the truth speaking loud and clear in my mind. _Now that he knows, he'll never want you. No one wants a damaged, filthy, dirty, contaminated, worthless, weak, whore as a partner for life. No one even wants a friend like that. DiNozzo will never love you._

**A/N**

**I hope this chapter was better. More on the way! Chapter Four will have Ray Cruz in it, then Five will introduce the entire team into the fic. 3**


	3. Chapter 3

I stirred the stir fry as Kort rested on the small couch feet from me. I didn't know what to say, sure I had been to countless Sexual Harrassment meetings, and through sensitivity training over and over and over again, in fact I had been told exactly what to say in these situations. However this was Kort, someone I actually knew, how could I possibly say anything so patronizing and condescending like that when I'd be living with the man for weeks? Sighing I focused on cooking dinner for us both, keeping most of the oils out for Kort's sake, looking back I saw Kort facing away from me, shivering slightly. Finding the extra blankets I threw on over Kort, and laid a hand on the man's shoulder, struggling for the right words.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." I said firmly, staring down at the bald man that was usually so emotionless and cold. His eyes were clenched shut, frowning I put a hand on the man's forehead, he was burning up. Pulling my hand away, wiping his sweat off of it I grabbed a clean dishtowel, I doused it in freezing cold water making sure it soaked up as much as possible before rinsing it out. Isat by Kort's side, listening to his ragged breathing, the nurse had said his breathing would be difficult but I still didn't like the sound of it. I was already uncomfortable as it was, comforting and caring for the CIA Agent who I didn't even like, trying to figure out why I was still around, I didn't need to make it any more unsettling by having the man die on me.

Gently running the cold, wet, dishcloth over his face I heard him sigh, I could only imagine what he was going through, though my imagination was probably closer to the truth then most having battled the plague and knowing just how miserable I was, how there were moments of complete despair and defeat. I thought I'd die, never feel normal again. Luckily for Kort this was just a real strong flu, but the nurse had warned me against Trent's temperature getting too high, reaching for the thermometer I opened Kort's mouth and stuck it in holding it in place until it beeped, pulling it out I cursed as I read 105.3. The man's blood had to be boiling inside him, I honestly never thought I'd feel sorry for this man but after all he's been through I didn't have achoice but to temporarily pity him, Kort had been having a streak of bad luck.

And now I had to get him cooled down or his temperature would keep climbing, running across the plane I looked into the bathroom, we had a shower but no tub, cringing, I knew exactly what I had to do. Groaning I returned to Trent who's body began to shake, his mouth now open and panting for breath moaning, kicking the covers off of himself. I began to silently strip Trent, talking to him quietly. "Trent I need to get your temperature down, which means I need to strip you and put in the shower, okay?" I had no idea if he heard me but he was offering no resistance to me undressing him, which wasn't a good sign either way, I had been expecting a snide remark at the very least but it's like he wasn't even there. I opened one of his eyes, it was glassy, and glossed over, cursing I finally managed to get him completely undressed, kicking off everything but my boxers I pulled him up, nearly jumping as I felt his hot, sweaty body press against mine, wrapping my arms around him automatically, I just stood there frozen for a second curiously enjoying the feel of Kort in my arms, feeling the strong, firm, muscular chest and abdomen against mine, the steady rise and fall of his chest, his hot breathe down my neck, I shivered in pleasure before shaking myself and pushing Kort slightly away.

No, I refused to even admit that I was lustful of Trent Kort, I walked with him down to the shower, dragging him in I turned the faucet on full blast cold, wrapping an arm around his waist, my other hand under Kort's right shoulder, holding him up as the cold water fell on him, steam actually rising off of Trent's burning hot body. Kort began to shiver violently and moan in pain, shrinking back into me, trying to get away from the cold water. I hated to put him through any more pain but it had to be done if he was to get better, pushing us forward I grabbed a wash cloth and ran it over his entire body, trying my best not to get hard or even turned on as I felt his smooth but firm skin underneath my hand, the man naked in the shower with me, and god was he beautiful. He had a well-shaped body, muscular, yet lean, perfectly angled and formed, not to mention quite a big endowment.

I led us out of the shower the moment Trent was no longer giving off steam in the cold shower, his skin wet and freezing beneath my gentle hands as I sat him on the toilet and began to dry him off, looking up at him his eyes seemed a bit less glossy and feverish, sighing in relief, hoping the food would bring Kort completely back, I managed to wrestle him into a clean pair of boxers and then on to the couch once more where I lined a few cooling pads for him to lie upon. As I turned back to our meal I heard his breathing even out in sleep, feeling relieved that he was finally getting some rest I turned off the stove, and took out the loaf of bread I had been baking, the nurse had warned me that the flu may or may not come with a stomach virus but either way to not skimp on his meals because his body needed as much energy as it could or it would shut down. Worried that I would be cleaning up puke later, grumbling in my mind about not getting paid enough to do this shit I set about plating the meal, and cutting the bread, buttering it and laying it on the table.

I didn't want to wake Trent up, but figured he could get back to sleeping after the meal. pouring him some hot tea for his throat, I shook his shoulder, feeling him jump awake I raised my arms to show him I wasn't going to hurt him. He glared up at me the best he could before looking at himself, "I'm nearly naked once again. What the hell did you do to me this time?"

I raised my eyebrows and innocently replied, "What? Don't you remember? We had wild sex in the bedroom my dear." Winking and trying to hide a grin as he gave me his best death glare I pointed to the table where dinner sat. I watched him struggle over to the table, as I began to eat, watching him pick at his food I rolled my eyes. "Eat Trent. Doctor's orders. Do not make me force feed you."

"I'll eat if I damn well feel like it DiNozzo." He seethed, I sighed. Obviously this animosity was going to last the entire time.

"Fine. See if I give a shit anymore." I snapped getting up and eating in the bedroom, smirking as I heard the clink of silverware. By the time I finished and returned to the main room Kort had cleared his plate and was curled into a ball on the couch, holding his stomach in pain. Putting my dish in the sink, I kneeled next to him and offered him some tums and aspirin, satisfied when he took them, I picked him up, watching him flush and look down as I carried him into the bedroom, turning on the airconditioning in the room I threw some blankets over the man and sat next to him on the bed. I could see him tense, I sighed.

"Trent we need to talk about this." I said softly, feeling horror fill me, my mind screaming what the hell are you doing? Not wanting to talk about it, not wanting to hear about it. I already could see the terrible, disgusting and disturbing image of Cobbs violating Trent. And it bothered me deeply, to my surprise I found my heart hurting for Trent.

"About what?" Kort growled defensively.

"What Cobbs did to you." I answered in a whisper, uncomfortable and embarrassed.

"There is nothing to talk about DiNozzo, you know exactly what happened, and by now everybody else does too I assume." He snapped bitterly.

"You assume wrong. I haven't told a soul. And I won't." I replied calmly, it was obvious how much he was hurting, even if he was trying to hide it, I knew Kort too well to be fooled by his usual vicious manner. I didn't have the heart to take anything he said personally, or to get angry at him. I could understand why he was pushing me away, it was safer. this way he could forget, make it so it never happened. It wouldn't hurt as much. But I knew in the long run this would do more damage then good.

"Good, than leave me alone." Kort hissed, I bit my lip wanting him to trust me and talk to me, but knowing that would take time, wondering how in the hell I fell into the nanny roll so fucking easily, I slowly and gently rested a hand on his arm that he shook off. I knew if I pried too much now he'd shut down completely.

Instead I just sat there quietly before getting up to leave, turning at the door I looked at him softly, "Trent, you have nothing to be ashamed of. What that bastard did to you was horrible and disgusting and completely his fault. You couldn't have stopped him, that I'm sure of. I know I wouldn't have been able to. I'm very sorry he hurt you like he did, I wish we had found you sooner. I apologize for that. Get some rest, I'll wake you when we land." with that I left him to his own devices, hoping I got through to him, at least a little bit.

It was a few hours later when I had to give him his medication that I returned to the bedroom, thankfully he was sleeping peacefully, something he hadn't done in a while, putting the glass of water on his bedside table I looked at him closely, noticing the bags under his eyes and the dry tear tracks. He had been crying. I felt something come loose in me, I had never imagined Kort could even produce tears, the thought of Kort crying was out there with aliens and psychics. It shook me to the core, I knew my perspective on Kort was changing but I didn't know it would change this much. He was just another man doing a job that needed to be done. Sitting down next to him once more I woke him up and handed him his pills and water silently. Kort sat up, stronger than he had been in the past few days, setting the glass of water aside I looked into his red, puffy eyes and whispered, "Everything will be okay eventually Trent."

"I'm sure it will be DiNozzo, now will you let me get dressed? We should be there soon." He said hoarsely, I got up and gave the man his privacy as the plane landed smoothly on the airstrip in Tel Aviv, looking out the window I sighed, already wanting to be back in the States in my apartment with air conditioning, helping Trent off the plane and into a taxi we made it to the hotel in record time, unpacking our bags, I turned to find Kort already passed out in his room, sighing I headed to the smaller room next to his, laying down I turned my new cell on, having ditched mine lest anyone from the CIA try to trace it and dialed Gibbs' number. By this time Gibbs would undoubtedly have put a BOLO out on me.

He picked up on the first ring, "Gibbs."

"Heya boss, how's it going?" I said as cheerfully as possible.

"DiNozzo! Where the hell are you? We've been looking all over for you." Gibbs yelled over the phone.

"Sorry boss, there was an emergency that needed to be taken care of. I won't be in for quite a while. I may need to put in for some personal time." I answered in a whisper, not wanting to wake the sick man only a few feet from me.

"What's going on DiNozzo, we can help." Gibbs demanded.

I snorted, "No you won't. You didn't help in the first place." _you left him there to die._ Angrily I added, "We are going to have a talk when I get back though. We have a lot to discuss. I can't tell you what's going on. It's not safe, for either of us." _frankly I don't trust you right now boss, see what you've done, see what you've ruined._

"What are you talking about?" Gibbs said quietly, cursing as I heard McGee's fingers flying over the keyboard, he was tracing me, should have expected that.

"Gotta go boss, just called to tell you I am safe." _If you even care anymore. After all you don't trust me enough to not trace my call. _

I hung up as quickly as possible, sighing, I threw my phone at the wall, collapsing on the bed I buried my face into the pillows, feeling sick to my stomach. I felt like my whole world was coming undone. Kort was human and could cry, I was in Tel Aviv running from the CIA, and NCIS, taking care of my sick nemesis, no longer able to trust my boss, the man I had considered my mentor, and at times my father. He was really the only person I had trusted explicitly and implicitly, and now that was beginning to crumble, I had no idea what to do. I just wanted to go back before everything started to change. I wanted to leave Kort here to deal with this on his own, even though I knew I couldn't. If I flew back now everything would be normal but I would have Trent's blood on my hands and I'd never be able to forgive myself if that were to happen. I suddenly knew what Trent felt like, having his own agency hunting him.

It didn't seem fair, to either of us, I hoped that when all this was over Gibbs and I would be back to normal and I still had a place at NCIS. Right now I was as good as a fugitive. Now I had nowhere's to turn to if things went wrong. For once I was completely alone, with no one to back me up and stand up for me if something went wrong. It would be up to me to protect myself and get myself out of trouble. I'd have to be much more cautious and start thinking ahead. I sat down, wondering how long we would be safe in Tel Aviv before they came looking for us here. They'd eventually have to leave but where would they go? They could go to Russia, or Poland, India possibly, anywhere's but England, North America, and Australia, as long as they kept moving they'd be safe. But for how long?

I couldn't sleep that night. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my body to relax. I was tense, my senses sharpened as I listened for someone breaking in, getting up every five minutes to check the parking lot, I locked and rechecked the locks on all windows and doors, pulling the shades down. I checked on Trent every ten minutes until I made myself lie in bed, but that did no good as my thoughts turned to home and my friends and teammates. I already missed them. Most likely because I knew we were no longer on the same side. Gibbs would have to understand. They weren't in on the CIA's hit out on Trent, but for some reason it didn't seem right to tell them and put them at risk. Best to give them deniability. I hated lying to Gibbs, or even lying by omission but I couldn't risk it. Right now though I could use one of his pep talks.

I needed a distraction, usually I would go for a run but I didn't feel good about leaving Trent alone in case he needed me for something, instead I sat down and tried to force myself to read a book before throwing it away and decided to journal what happened that day. In case I ever needed proof of what went down.

**Date: 6/4/11**

**Found Trent Kort in abandoned building, left to die with a bad fever and a fractured skull. The Agency has a hit out on him, he's become a liability in their eyes. Flew to Tel Aviv with him. Lied to Gibbs, had to give him deniability, but my number one priority is to keep Trent safe. Checked into The Ambermont hotel at 15:00. Trent went right to sleep, still sick. Locked all doors and pulled all the shades, unable to sleep.**

Tucking the journal under my pillow I stared at the clock that read 3 am, groaning I conceded defeat and turned off the light, kicking off my shoes, I began to drift off. It was only a few seconds later that I heard Kort cry out in his sleep, peering out I saw him twisting in his sheets, sweating and groaning. Fighting someone off in his sleep. I went back to bed, hoping the nightmare would soon be over for him, wishing to comfort him but remembering the man's wish for him to not be in the same bed as he was. I returned to my own bed, and put a pillow over my head, trying to block out the cries of pain, and the whimpering, the sound of Kort flopping around. I could hear him pleading in his sleep. His voice pained and desperate. "Just kill me, I know you want to, please just kill me Jonas. Don't keep doing this to me. We both know how it's going to end."

I froze, my heart constricting painfully, I sat up unable to bear it any longer, I tiptoed to his room and climbed into bed with him. Still feeling awkward at being this close to him, I pulled him into my arms like in the hospital, trying to give him some peace, I wish I had been there to put a bullet in Cobbs myself. Instead I lay there, with both arms wrapped tightly around Trent, his head resting on my shoulder, his face pressed into my neck, his body against mine. It felt good to have him in my arms, it comforted me as well, to know this man was safe and with me, I felt the tension leave my body as he cuddled up to me in his sleep, he'd be pissed when he woke up but for now we both enjoyed the closeness and comfort the other offered. I wish I could hold him for the rest of his life. If only I could accept the fact that I may have feelings for the man currently in my arms. He fit me so well, I couldn't imagine him with anyone else.

It only took one glance down, his beautiful face and body snuggled to me for protection, to know that I wouldn't be going back home until this man was well and safe, unhunted.

Nervously I pressed a small kiss to his head, once more falling to sleep in the same bed as him.

Neither of us knew we would wake up to find a gun pointed at us.

**A/N Please Review and tell me if you like it and how I'm doing 3 **


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note.**

**Okay I know this may be confusing some people at how fast it's going, but I based this on pre-established feelings, not that they told one another but that they had feelings for one another for a while and it's only until now, after all the recent tragedy that they are discovering it, that they realize what they feel. This chapter is how Trent began to develop feelings for Dinozzo and why, I will go into more depth with Tony next chapter. I hope that makes sense. It's not like the romance just fell out of the sky. It will be explained. Thanks for reading. AND PLEASE REVIEW. Tell me how I am doing, if you want to see a scene or anything happen specifically in the fic, leave it in a review. If anyone has ideas for a date night between Tony and Trent that'd be cool 3 Thanks!**

**WARNING GRAPHIC RAPE SCENE NEAR END. If you wish to skip it it will be in italics. It's the hardest scene I ever had to write and honestly I got a bit sick. I wrote a graphic scene because I wanted to expound on the feelings, not just dance around them. For a story to be good you need to feel what the character feels. I wanted you guys to feel his pain. I hope I didn't go too over the top.**

When I woke up I wasn't expecting to be in DiNozzo's arms, however when I found myself once more cuddled to him I didn't move away. I could easily sense the tension in DiNozzo's lean, firm body, breathing down the man's neck I tuned in to what was going on, realizing for the first time that DiNozzo had his arms tightly around me, one arm running the length of my spin his hand cradling the back of my head, the other around my waist, holding me as if I was fragile and would break. Holding me like no one had ever dared to. He was talking to someone behind me, obviously an uninvited guests who of course was probably there to kill me. I tried to figure out exactly who the agency sent but they weren't talking they seemed to be having a stare down, I kept my eyes closed, letting them both believe I was still fast asleep, just like I had with DiNozzo last night when he kissed me.

Suddenly I heard DiNozzo speak, just one quiet, soft plead, "Please." I could see him staring into my would-be killer's eyes. I heard the man shift behind me, I could practically feel the barrel of the gun only inches from where DiNozzo's hand cupped my head. I laid there in numb shock, I had never heard DiNozzo plead for anything before, yet here he was pleading for my life to be spared. I could feel myself go raw, I was no fool, no one had ever looked out for me before. I wondered what DiNozzo wanted in return. It was the only reason people ever took an interest in my well-being. If they could do me a favor, like saving my life, they knew I would owe them and would have to repay my debt. I just wondered what he would ask me to do for him, there was no other reasonable or viable explanation as to why he was risking his life for me. I had done nothing for him to warrant such loyalty, and bravery. I just hoped it wasn't anything as disturbing as what I had to do for Vance once upon a time ago.

"I can't believe this." A familiar voice said from behind, it was Cruz. I should have known, the Agency always did have a flair for the dramatic.

"Can't believe what?" DiNozzo all but snarled, I felt my fingers brush through the hair at the back of his head trying to calm him, and hoping he wouldn't give me away.

I could feel him relax, just as I could feel Cruz smirking behind me, "You have feelings for Trent Kort." Cruz said in amusement. "I know the whole Jeanne Benoit disaster messed you up Tony, but _Trent Kort?_ He's not worth it. He doesn't care for anyone other than himself, even when he appears he does, it's just for self-preservation or he's playing you. I doubt he has any feelings left after all these years."

I could feel my mouth go dry, was it true? Was DiNozzo developing feelings for me? I blinked, feeling stupid, I should have known, after all what was my first clue, that he ran away with me when I asked him to, or when I kept waking up to him holding me? I just hadn't thought it possible that DiNozzo would ever develop feelings for me at all, not even in the friendship department, let alone actually be falling hard for me. I squeezed the back of his neck as I felt him tense and go silent, my heart squeezed painfully wanting to tell him that it wasn't true. that it was just my job, that I was a person underneath it all, I had thoughts, feelings, dreams of my own that had nothing to do with advancing myself or the Agency. I flushed, as I longed to tell him that I had had feelings for him ever since he punched me in the face, ever since he stepped off that elevator after one of my colleague's blew up his car, alive and well, I wanted to tell him that I went to NCIS not looking for La Grenouille but looking for him, to see if he was okay. My heart had faltered when I saw on the news the carnage of his car.

I wanted to tell him that I loved how he wore his emotions on his sleeve, how he was honest and honorable, not wanting to ever hurt anyone, I wanted to tell him how funny he was, how arguing with him always kept me grounded, a last link to reality and sanity. Something to hold onto when nothing else was for sure, that no mattered what happened he would always be the same. He would always be the same funny, honest, stubborn, conscientious DiNozzo that had a heart of gold compared to me. I admired him for being everything I was not. I wanted to tell him how I always kept an eye out for him, that even when I was abroad being a spy that I always made sure he was doing okay, that whenever I could have protected him I did. I wanted to tell him it really wasn't me who blew up his car, that I had returned from an overseas mission once I heard he was being accused of La Grenouille's murder and was facing life in prison, and not just any life in prison, but life in prison as a cop. We all knew what happened to those.

I wanted to tell him that it hadn't been me who killed La Grenouille but that if I hadn't taken the blame he'd be in jail right now, seeing as how his own director wasn't taking the blame for what she'd done. I wanted to admit to him that it had been me who had sent the Russian's on Jenny's tail as revenge for nearly letting him hang for what she'd done, I knew I'd never tell him that though because he'd hate me. Maybe he would understand the rage I felt when I found out that the man I loved was being hung out to dry, set up and about to be executed. In all fairness I had warned Jenny that it wouldn't end well for her. But I knew he wouldn't agree because he had a strict moral code that was hard to bend, and I knew when a case messed that up, leaving him not knowing what to believe or do he often went on benders, drinking himself into oblivion so he could sleep with anyone and everyone in the bar and go to work the next day and make everyone believe he was okay.

Did he know that when I was in DC I'd spend my mornings watching him run in the most dangerous park in the city, just to make sure he was safe? Did he know that when I fell asleep he was my last thought, that I relived a moment, any moment with him. When he punched me a little part of me had broke away, but I knew I had deserved it, I had hurt him but I never meant to. I had to get him out of that mission before La Grenouille decided to take a more physical approach to ending his affair with his daughter. Did I mention the time when I gave up Jonathan Siravo? DiNozzo and Ziva were attacked at the safe house, I could hear Gibbs on the phone, I could hear Ziva as well, my heart nearly stopped when I heard bullets flying, I prayed for his well-being, I would have never forgave myself if he had died. That when I heard Gibbs had sent him out to pick up Marcin Jerek I followed behind to make sure he didn't try to hurt Tony.

I did my best to protect him these last few years, in return for what he gave me-a reality and feelings, something I hadn't felt in many years until I met him. It was like I had been dead all those years, it got lonely when everybody was afraid of you. But DiNozzo had been different, he stood up to me, and stood his ground, I liked a brave, strong man. It was what first got me interested in him. I'd be damned if I was going to let Cruz ruin any chance DiNozzo and I had. I had never considered that I had feelings for DiNozzo, sure I did all these things for him, and I recognized the heart-stopping fear when something happened to him, or even nearly happened to him, but I never associated it with having feelings for him, but now that the word was out there I was grateful I had been trying to put my fingers on the word for a long time, it went a little farther than just caring for the man. Caring meant being sad if he died, I'd be devestated. I'd grow cold once more. The world would seem bleaker, and just that much more darker. I firmly believed there had to be more DiNozzo's in the world, to equal the bad. He was the very essence of good. I was on his side, but he never saw it that way, I could understand.

Inhaling his scent deeply, I slowly buried my face in his neck, wondering how he felt about me, he still hadn't responded to Cruz, he seemed stunned at this revelation, or that someone else could read him so easily. When would he learn that he was an open book? I loved that. More than anything else. I lived a life of lies, I couldn't handle coming home and having to live another. Yes, I loved him. I felt myself tense as I admitted this, only to feel DiNozzo stroke the back of my head soothingly, I leaned into his touch, I had been wanting this for so long, I had fantasized and longed for this day, I just never thought it would come. I was sure I'd be killed long before I could ever look Tony in the eyes and tell him that he was the reason I did what I did. Relaxing against him, I found myself lightly kissing his neck, I felt more than saw his eyes flutter close for a second before he looked back up at Cruz. I knew he was just as confused as I was about what he was feeling, this could go either way right now.

"Ray..." He sighed, not knowing how to say what he wanted to, "These last few days..." I knew he was talking to me as well, I listened, "These last few weeks...I saw Kort different. He became human, he risked his life to save a Navy Officer, he got his eye ripped out for his trouble." DiNozzo shook his head and sighed, "This isn't coming out right. And frankly it's none of your business how I feel about Trent. You think he's inhuman, but that's not true, I've seen glimpses of the man behind the mask, and those moments were like gold to me. He's been hurt one too many times. And if you honestly think I'm just going to lay here and let you kill him, you have another thing coming. I don't have to explain anything to you."

I smiled, you tell him DiNozzo, I thought pride filling me.

"Pity isn't the same as loving him though DiNozzo. And that's what you feel for him isn't it? Admit it, you found out what Cobbs did to him, and you swooped into play hero." Cruz said softly. I could feel DiNozzo tense.

"Don't even speak that bastards name." I felt him breathe deeply, his body beginning to tremble in an emotion I was well accustomed to: Rage. I kissed his neck again, slowly moving my hand over his heart and stroking his chest with my thumb, trying to block out the name of my torturer. "He...no not pity. Grief. Agony that Trent had to suffer through that." DiNozzo answered softly, "I loved him long before that. But when I found out what Cobbs had done...I knew I couldn't just let him go...it was the straw that broke the camels back I guess. I couldn't let him keep getting hurt. I mean...he was shot a few years back and then his eye...God knows what else he's suffered through because of your Agency. Honestly I'm sick of seeing him thrown about like a pawn. He's done being abused."

I felt his arms tighten on me. I knew DiNozzo didn't know how he felt, I didn't hold it against him, he was conflicted I could hear it in his voice, but I didn't doubt his words, his eyes were too open, he was revealing too much of himself to be anything but truthful. I could give him time to figure it out, I could give him my whole life for him to figure it out, so long as I was by his side the entire time. I prayed that it was love for me that he'd find, because I had fallen so hard for him, it was like I had jumped from the Twin Towers. I also knew he wouldn't ever reveal this much of himself if he didn't have to, he constantly protected himself from falling in love, from depending on anyone, from his own feelings. To admit to loving someone would leave him open and vulnerable to pain. I would never bring that upon him, I would tell him that, if we lived that was. Cruz stayed silent.

"I think you can fool yourself into believing many things DiNozzo, one morning you'll wake up next to Trent and wonder why the hell you ever loved a monster like him. You'll realize that that's all he is in the end." Cruz said softly. I looked down, it was true, I had committed monstrosity's but so had Cruz, the pot calling the kettle black.

"The pot calling the kettle black." I heard DiNozzo echo, I smiled, we even thought the same. "I believe it was who you said, "It's what I do, not who I am." Or is that only true for you? You see, I don't think you know Trent as well you think you do. Even if you do, even if you're right that will never change how I feel about him." I shifted closer to him, it was funny how I would permit no other male to touch me after what Cobbs had done, other than Tony of course. Still pretending to be asleep, I murmured in his ear, "This is going to end very well for you." I could feel him trying not to grin, as he looked back up at Cruz.

"If you loved Ziva you will do this for me. You will leave Trent and I alone. Go back to the States, tell them you killed us, we will never return. No one will hear from us again." Even as he spoke this, I knew it wasn't true for many reasons, one because I knew DiNozzo, he loved America, he loved his home and his Team, he'd be a wreck if he could never see or speak to them again and two, I would never allow him to sacrifice his life for me. That just wasn't happening. But if it bought us time to lie then we would.

"I do love Ziva, but if I don't kill you the Agency will know, there are spies everywhere's. They will want proof. They'd kill me too. That would hurt Ziva, if I loved her...well, I'd let you get away, after all Tel Aviv is a huge city, by the time I found where you were staying well let's just say you were already gone, I might just have to go back to Langley and try to track where you go from there. I can't ever stop hunting you DiNozzo, but for now I can let you have a head start. Keep him under control, the Agency sure couldn't. I hope you can, because when I catch up to you I will kill him, I don't want to have to kill you as well but I will. I don't like you but for Ziva...well you are lucky you know her. You owe her one." I heard him say coolly. I knew he was telling the truth, my heart raced as he threatened DiNozzo, quietly reminding myself all I had to do was behave and Tony would be fine.

I saw Tony nod and heard Cruz leave, relaxing only minutes after when we were sure he wasn't going to come back in and kill us when we least expected it. We looked at each other, Tony flushing deeply, if only he could read my mind he'd know that he needn't be embarrassed by his feelings.

"DiNozzo..." I started before I was interrupted, I wanted to just let it out, just let it all out, I had been waiting years for the right moment to tell him how I felt about him. Now seemed as good a time as any.

"Don't worry Trent. I don't actually have feelings for you. so you needn't freak out, I was just saying that to get Cruz to leave." DiNozzo said emotionlessly. It was like a slap in the face, even if I knew it wasn't true. It still hurt like a knife in the heart or the back to hear such a cruel lie. I was stunned into silence, swallowing, I looked down, I felt him leave the bed.

The pain must have been etched on my face because DiNozzo frowned and said, "I almost forgot, your medication!" He threw me my pain medication, I just looked up at him.

"I don't need this Tony." I said softly, looking down, it was awkward, I forgot what it felt like, it's been eons since anyone's hurt my feelings. I snorted and shook my head, pelting the medication bottle at him. "You fool, don't you get it?" I drawled in my accent. I knew he loved it when I did that, or when I said his name so softly, it made goosebumps erupt on his arms. It was amazingly attractive to see that my voice had such an effect on him.

"G-get what?" I knew he was nervous, but I wasn't prepared for the fear. Perhaps he wasn't ready to hear what I had to say, maybe he wasn't ready for my love to become real to him. But I knew how lonely he was, even though he never told anyone, I could see it. I could see past all his masks, it was part of my job after all. I stood up, not disturbed to find myself in my boxers alone, and walked over to him, swaying a bit, but to be honest I felt better than I had in days. I didn't know how to say it without breaking him. Standing before him I looked him in the eyes, his green eyes boring into my brown-blue ones. I saw right into his soul, I feared if I said anything I might break him. Instead I answered his question by placing my hand on his cheek softly, slowly stroking it as gently and lovingly as I could.

I felt him tense, after all he wasn't even sure how he felt about me, but I couldn't let him think that I didn't even like him. I didn't want him thinking he had to hide from me, hide behind lies and masks, no. Never with me. But I didn't want to frighten him off either. "Do you get it now Tony?" I asked softly, I could see I had him off balance with the use of his first name, his equilibrium was taking a total spin.

"S-s-sorta of." He said, almost hissing out, I smiled charmingly, he was relaxing, he was beginning to understand, but he was still wary and insecure, not wanting to read into the situation, afraid he read it all wrong. I knew this game well. He didn't want to admit it, because he may be wrong, and if he was wrong he just let his heart be hung out to dry, hung out to be pierced through.

"Maybe I should make it more clear for you." I said in the softest tone possible. DiNozzo leaned into my touch and looked me pleadingly in the face, I knew the torture he was going through right now, the hope he didn't dare let rise. It hurt to see him so hopeful but so very afraid of being hurt. And I knew I'd have to make it clear to him, if not for any other reason than to stop the torment he was going through. I softly brushed my lips against his, feeling his warm breathe on my lips, the soft and yet strong lips nervously pressing against mine, I put my hand on his waist, letting it travel up his side and over his ribs then around his back until I was embracing him with one arm, my lips capturing his in the most real, truthful, loving, gentle kiss I had ever given anyone. I had kissed many woman, men and transvestite's in my line of work, but never had any of them been as sweet as Tony. Never had I tasted anything so wonderful, so good.

It stole my breathe away, sagging against him in exhaustion I took a deep breathe, I could see him smiling goofily, I chuckled and traced his lips with my thumb as I rested my head on his shoulder. "DiNozzo, I'm very tired. We need to get out of here. Snap out of it. We'll have plenty of time to talk about this, and of course...explore."

He blushed, but helped me to the couch as he began to hurriedly pack our bags, getting them into the taxi, coming back for me. Soon we were in the air on our way to England, back to my home. I laid on the couch, DiNozzo sat on the floor in front of me, he coughed, blushing he calmly looked at me, "So...you really love me?" I could see the hope and longing in his eyes, it made my heart ache. How long had it been since someone had loved this man?

"Yes DiNozzo, I do. I've loved you since the day we met." I explained smoothly, not wanting to waste anymore time on the sappy shit. I could see his eyes brighten as he jumped up and gave me my medication.

"You rest, you only have a few more days until you are better. You seem to be walking better as well. I'll make breakfast." He said smiling, I smiled the first true smile I had in years, it was amazing how easily Tony fell into the role of domesticated housewife. I watched him cook, my eyes on his body, admiring his grace and ease, it was like a dance. I would love to dance with Tony, to be so close to him I could smell his shampoo, could feel our bodies pressed together, to stare into his beautiful green-brown eyes, to whisper I love you's in his ears. It would be the first thing I did when I was better and could completely support myself on my own.

"I am feeling better. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I was convinced you'd either poison my food or leave me to drown in the shower." I heard him laugh, it was the most uplifting thing I heard all year.

"I thought about it. But do you know how disappointed Cruz would be if he found out I got to you before he did? Poor guy would probably kill himself." I smirked at his reply. "So are we going to see your home town? I mean you are from England aren't you?"

"I am but no. At least not this trip. Too risky; they probably already have men waiting in my home town. I will take you there one day though. It's a beautiful place." I looked at the ceiling remembering my childhood with not much fondness, however I wasn't lying when I said it was beautiful. I use to roam around the woods, and play by the rivers when home got too much for me, the wildlife even got so comfortable with me that deer would come up to me and eat right out of my hand. I had made a little hut of stones and boulders on the stream bed, it was a small creek that held tad poles and small fish. There were even deep mud pockets next to the stream that held toads. I smiled remembering how I would sneak out bread and fruit for the animals, running across fields, past cows, and horses and chickens to get to the real wildlife. To get to the place I was safest. Some nights I would take my sleeping bag and sleep at my little hut. Sometimes deer would keep me company, a big teddy bear. Sometimes I would find raccoons curled up in front, keeping guard.

"What you thinking about?" I heard DiNozzo ask as he flipped the strawberry pancakes.

"The place I will take you when it's safe to. The place I really grew up, my real home. You will love it. Maybe we could honeymoon there." I answered, staring at the man I loved.

"Honeymoon?" He squeaked, I laughed, "Now slow down there Mister. You don't own me yet."

"But I will. One day." I said matter-of-factly, smiling warmly at the thought.

"Is that so? You think you got that good of a shot with me?" DiNozzo said raising an eyebrow and folding his arms across his chest.

"Oh I know I do. Just like I know you will succumb to my charms eventually. It's just a matter of time my Prince." I purred, winking.

He laughed, "Yeah sure. You know I've been with men richer _and _who had hair. Why should I keep you?"

Getting up, I walked over to him as he leaned against the counter I spread my legs out so his feet were crossed in between mine and cupping his head in my hand I kiss him deeply, this time parting his lips and delving my tongue deep into his mouth, exploring it, trying to memorize it as I sucked on his bottom lip. I felt him sag onto the counter, his arm bending onto the counter to support himself as I worked his mouth over, I heard him quietly moan, pulling away I growled sexily in his ear, "That is why. I have many many tricks DiNozzo, you have no idea what I can do to you." Stepping away I kissed his forehead and continued, "And I really love you. Something they didn't."

I watched as Tony tried pulling himself back together, nearly on the floor, his legs shaking so bad they hardly supported him, I laughed and helped him to the booth. "I didn't know anyone could kiss like that." He said breathlessly, amazed, looking at me with surprise. "You don't know the half of it DiNozzo. I've been waiting for years."

He smiled and looked at his hands, as I plated the food and brought it to the table. "No one's ever waited for me. Hell no one's ever..." He trailed of in a whisper looking out the plane window, not finishing his sentence but I knew exactly what he meant. And it hurt like hell to hear him admit it. I cursed all those men and woman who had used him for one night stands, when it was obvious Tony needed stability and love.

"I know." I answered softly, tapping his chin gently, "But that's all over now. I won't stop loving you, ever." He smiled at me brilliantly, taking my hand in his and lifting it to his face he pressed a kiss to it, before squeezing it and letting it go.

"You know you can be a very sweet man when you want to be, you ruthless killer you." He said smiling as he dug into his breakfast.

"What can I say. You do things to me Tony." I replied, he burst out laughing.

"Yeah I bet I do. You better keep it in your pants young man." He said wagging his finger in front of my face, I pouted. "Yeah see if that gets you anywhere's." he kept mocking, I nipped his finger, making him withdraw it,and giving me a fake glare before returning to his meal.

We ate in companionable silence until Tony looked at me and said, "So how does a man who loves his hometown so much end up leaving it to be a CIA Agent?"

I froze, no one had asked me that question since I joined the Agency, I didn't stop to think that Tony might be just as curious about me as I use to be about him, still am, not everything in his file was explained. Like a father who would disown his own son at twelve years old. However after everything else that had happened I wasn't ready to talk about this just yet. I looked up at him calmly but seriously, "That's a story for a different time, Tony. I will tell you though, just not right now." I said quietly. I could feel his stare before he nodded.

"Whenever you are ready." He kept looking at me and I knew exactly what he was about to bring up, my insides grew cold as I froze, my stomach curdling, his hands reached over to mine and rested on top. I looked up at him but found him looking at our hands. I knew he had been pissed at what Cobbs had done to me, but I never thought it would upset him so deeply, I should have known better, he squeezed my hand to comfort me, but also to comfort himself..

"I wish I could take your pain away. I wish it hadn't been you. Anyone but you." He whispered hoarsely, I nodded numbly, a lump forming in my throat. My eyes glazing over, my chest tightened just at the mention of it. Fear made my mind fuzzy I put my hands over my face as I heard Jonas whispering in my ear, shuddering telling myself he wasn't really there, I tried my best to hold onto reality even as I slipped back.

_I practically ran to my car, DiNozzo had just manhandled me into the phone booth, and during our little conversation I realized exactly where Jonas was. Think four moves ahead. I knew exactly where this would end, at the beginning. In the building where the training originally began and ended. Cobbs had planned this out. Starting in Roda cause he knew SecNav's niece was there, and ending it right back here where SecNav would undoubtedly be, as long as me and Vance. We were the only ones really involved in this mess._

_I sped off to the building, arriving in record time, I unholstered my weapon in case Cobbs was indeed home. Entering I cleared the lower floors before going to the fourth floor where everything had taken place, entering the room I looked around, it was empty. He had to be here, I was sure of it. Stepping into the room more, I failed to notice the shadow approaching from behind until it was too late. I felt a splitting pain in my head before everything went black. _

_I woke up chained to the floor, groggy, my vision in my one remaining eye blurry, I couldn't move my body for a minute, I couldn't even feel my body until it all came back to me in one blindingly sharp moment of excruciating pain._

_I moved my head slowly, everything was dark, I couldn't tell if I was alone or not. Wincing I pulled at my chains, trying to get out of them, a cold mocking voice from behind making me freeze, "Don't bother Kort. I chained you up just like you showed me. So no one will ever escape." He laughed as he walked over, leaning over me, I could see him smiling at me. He placed his hand on the back of my head caressing it gently, I looked at him. "Cobbs...let me go. We can talk about this. We made a mistake."_

_"Yes you did. And that was to come alone Mister Kort." He purred my name, running his fingers over my skull almost sensually. _

_"Don't be a fool Cobbs, everyone is on high alert, we can't even leave the NCIS building without telling someone where we went. We won't be alone for long." I said looking him in the eye, wondering what the the hell he was going to do to me. _

_He laughed, "I'm not an idiot Trent. If you told someone where you went they'd be here by now. Everybody is looking for a lead. They jump on them like flies on shit. Gibbs would be right here with you if you told anyone. No, we're alone. And we'll be alone for quite a while. Do you think they will even know you are missing?" Jonas mocked quietly as he ran his fingers down my spine, my tight shirt doing nothing to separate our skin. I could feel the heat coming off his hands. Goosebumps erupted on my arms. _

_"Don't make this worse than it has to be Cobbs, you're already going down for murder, don't add assualting a Federal Agent to the list." I said calmly, even though I felt disgusted at the gentle touch, hiding my discomfort behind a mask of calm and confidence. I was going to try to end this as peacefully as possible. I had done enough damage to this insane man. _

_"What makes you think you are walking out of here alive? When I'm done with you, I will kill you, make no mistake on that part. But frankly..." He said trailing off running his eyes up and down my body, "You are just too gorgeous to go to waste." Smirking he got up returning to his original position by the door, the unmistakable sound of a belt unbuckling and pants dropping making my stomach drop. It was suddenly all too clear what he intended to do to me. I felt queasy, my heart began to beat fast, fluttering in my chest. For the first time since college I felt fear. Not just fear, panic. I beathed deeply, trying to calm myself, I focused on my breathing, trying not to hear his footsteps approaching me, or the sound of him kneeling behind me. I had to keep calm or this was going to be worse than it was already going to be. _

_I swallowed hard as I felt his hand pressing on the small of my back, I shuddered at his touch, I wasn't even naked yet and I felt violated. I could feel my mouth dry and my lungs burning, the panic taking over once more. I grasped my chains in my hand, gripping them tightly I squeezed trying to hold on to something. I could feel the fear physically, my heart felt sick, like everything was rising into my throat. I barely contained a whimper as I felt his fingers fumbling with my belt. My breathe catching. This wasn't happening-it just couldn't. Not to me. No, it just couldn't. It wasn't possible. I shook my head in denial, whispering an anguished, "No."_

_"Oh yes Mister Kort. Yes, yes, yes. So sexy." He said smoothly into my ear, I turned my head in disgust, feeling his hot breath on my face, stinking up the air I had to breath. My belt was open, I clenched my eye shut, my breathing out of control once more, this time I couldn't even begin to control it. My mind was shutting down with panic, I tried tugging at my restraints but they didn't budge, I could hear Jonas chuckling as I tried fighting him off, but I couldn't even do damage when he had me face down. Instead he punched me right in the kidney, making me cry out in sharp agony. "Don't move and this may be less painful than you may think." he breathed down my neck. _

_I inhaled loudly, feeling tears prick my eyes as his fingers hooked into my pants, feeling them being pulled off of me I tried shrinking away, but there was no where's to go. My boxers had been pulled down with my pants, I could feel the cool air on my ass, my cock pressed into the cold concrete. I shivered and put my head down, trying not to give him any satisfaction at seeing my pain. I jumped and bit my lip as he slid a hand over my ass. I felt shame and repulsion wash over me, my face turning red, I trembled under his touch. "Oh baby, you're so scared. I'm just beginning." I could feel his breathe on my ass, I felt tears of hopelessness and helplessness blooming, hiding my face in my arms I gasped in despair as he slid his hands over me and grabbed my cock, stopping a little whimper of shame and pain from escaping my throat, hissing I tried to block out his touch. _

_Trying to take myself somewhere's else in my mind. Trying to ignore his fingers sliding up and down my cock, squeezing my balls, I breathed harshly, letting out little grunts of grief and disbelief and shame as I tried to deny this was happening. I took a shakey breath in, my voice teary and heavy, "Please...Jonas...you don't have to do this...you don't want to, not really. this isn't you. You're a good sailor, serving your country, not a rapist." I said choking up as I felt myself get hard under his minstrations, my face flushing with humiliation and shame, the tears leaking silently out of my eye as my body betrayed me. _

_"Not anymore, thanks to you Officer Kort, this is what you've made me into. Aren't you proud?" He mocked, "This is your fault, having fun with your creation now honeybunches?" I felt him lick my cheeks, he 'Mmm'd at the taste of my tears, "Looks like someone is happy." He said happily as he squeezed my hard cock, I whimpered, unable to contain myself. I looked at the dirt, begging any god that could hear me to send help. _

_"You're sick Jonas. Sicker then I ever made you." I said in a strangled whisper, my body shaking, "Please...please stop." I felt even more shame as I begged, but I just couldn't let him go any further, couldn't let him take me. _

_"Stop? When it's just getting good? I don't think so." He smiled at me, I felt him part my ass, his hard cock burning an imprint into my thigh, I squirmed away in disgust. Beginning to struggle as he rubbed against me, a strangled cry issuing from my throat. Oh please god, no. _

_Please, I've done many bad things but nothing to deserve this. Please send someone, anyone to help me. Oh please._

_But my prayers went unheard, I felt him shift and suddenly the head of his cock was in my ass, and I cried out in rage and panic, trying to crawl up higher, knowing I couldn't move far, he just laughed in amusement before grabbing my waist and holding me down, my heart entered my throat as I began to struggle more fiercely, but he just pinned me down hard, so I couldn't move at all. I could hear him breathing deeply, erotically behind me. I almost thought he had changed his mind, before I felt a tearing agony as he forced his entire cock into me dry and in one stroke. I screamed in pain, biting down on my arm, trying to muffle my screams, knowing he would thrive on them. It hurt worse then I could have ever imagined. It felt like someone was ripping me in half. My body and my heart. _

_The tears came in a flood, there was no holding them back, I could feel my warm blood leaking out of my ass, I could hear the disgusting asshole moaning on top of me as he gripped my waist hard, his breath coming in gasps. "Ohhhhh, oooh Trent, you are so fucking tight. if I didn't know what a dirty, filthy, disgusting whore you were I'd have thought you were a virgin. So good." He moaned in my ear. I shrunk away from his voice, crying into my arm, still muffling my tears and cries of pain. I was in fact a virgin. I had always topped. And he took this from me. I felt a sob rip through me. _

_I was going to die here, he would rape me until he was bored then kill me. And all I could think of was Tony. "Oh Tony, I am so sorry." I whispered quietly. It was at this moment that he began to move, that he began to thrust hard up and down, in and out, making my hard cock grind against the floor, I yelled in pain, he wasn't going gentle, I could feel myself tearing deep inside, tears flowing freely down my cheeks, blood pouring down from my ass like a faucet, the bite mark on my arm now leaking blood as well. I screamed louder as he began digging deeper into me, I clawed at my chains, at the floor, at my own face, I could feel the scratches on my face and arms, my nails cracking in two as I tried to get away. My cock was bleeding, the sheer force of Jonas thrusting into me making it scratch onto the hard cement floor. _

_"OH GOD JONAS PLEASE. PLEASE STOP. PLEASE NO MORE. PLEASE." I screamed as he bit down on my shoulder, drawing even more blood, I could feel him lick it up. He just ignored me, moaning loudly he kept shoving his cock farther and farther into me, riding me harder and harder. All I could do was plead and cry, and hope for it to be over soon. I had never wished to die until now. _

_I didn't even know I was speaking until Jonas laughed, I caught myself sobbing out, "Oh Tony, Tony, please help me. Please find me. Oh, god, I'm so sorry, oh please." Jonas's sweat dripped off his forhead and onto the back of my head. I shook hard, feeling even more disgusted as his sweat rained on me. I could hear him moaning on top of me still. I could hear him thrusting in and out of me, the sickening pop and sound of skin rubbing against skin, the sick squish, his fingers were still on my ass gripping my cheeks tightly, leaving bleeding nail digs in my ass. Suddenly I felt him tensing and then he screamed loudly, I burned in shame as he came in me. I had never felt so dirty in my entire life, his cum filling me like a cream filled donut, I gagged knowing I'd never be clean again, turning my head I threw up as he laid on top of me panting and sweating, still not taking himself out of me even though his cock was soft._

_"Don't worry Trent. You needn't cry. Next time will be better I promise." He whispered in my ear, nibbling on the lobe as he finally pulled out of me. I sobbed into my arms as I heard him get dressed. _

_"YOU FUCKING BASTARD. YOU FUCKING BASTARD. YOU BASTARD." I screamed in grief,agony and rage, my body shaking like a leaf. He just laughed and locked the door behind him, leaving me in the dark lying chained to the floor in a pool of my own vomit, blood and his cum. I tried getting out, tried escaping but it was no use, eventaully I laid there crying and shaking until I passed out from exhaustion. Tony's name on my lips as I wished for death._

"Trent! TRENT! TRENT!" I could hear someone screaming in the background from far away. My head was fuzzy, my vision fading in and out. I could feel myself in somebody else's arms, and I screamed thinking for a minute Jonas had come back for me, until I realized it was Tony's voice I heard. It was Tony's tears I felt dripping onto my face, not Jonas's sweat. I looked up, I was indeed in his arms, we were in the bedroom, sitting in bed, he had me on his lap, clutching me so tightly it pained me to breath, but at the moment I didn't care, I needed him, I needed this.

I could feel the tears on my face, my voice felt raw, I could taste the copperiness of blood on my tongue-I had screamed it raw. I lifted my hand and realized it was shaking like a leaf as was the rest of my body, my nails were bleeding, I looked up at Tony and disbelief filled my face. I had scratched his face up, he was bleeding. "No." I whispered as I shakily caressed his cheek, his cheeks were still wet with tears.

"It's okay Trent, it's not your fault." His voice was filled with pain as he continued to clutch me.

"What happened?" I croaked. "I just...I remember eating breakfast and than suddenly...suddenly." I could feel my breath hitch, I grabbed onto Tony for strength, "I was with _him_ again. Oh god." I pushed off of Tony, stumbling blindly to the bathroom knocking into the walls and chairs and doors on the way before crashing in front of the toilet, vomiting violently. I felt him come up behind me, and even though I knew it was him I jumped when he touched me. He withdrew his hand quickly. I grabbed it, he pulled me up and rubbed my back, getting a cup of water he led me back to the bed, my head spinning he laid me down and continued stroking my back as he slowly let me drink the water.

"I tried getting you to speak about...it...and I said his name. You went into a full blown flashback. I heard everything you had said. I heard your pleads, your screams, your cries, and whimpers, Your sobs. I heard you calling for me..." He said quietly his voice heavy and laced with tears. He looked down before grabbing me once more and hugging me.

"Oh Trent I am so sorry. I'm so very sorry, baby. But you never have to go through that again. I didn't mean to send you back there. It was bad enough you had to live through it once. I'm sorry love. It's going to be okay. I'm going to get us through this okay. You're a strong man Trent. But you're still just a man. A man that I love..." He said to me as I lay in his arms, trying to stop shaking, listening to him, hanging onto his every word as if they were the only things keeping me in this world. He continued, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again, You have nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn't your fault. Whatever he said to you wasn't true. You're mine, and nobody hurts what's mine. Got it?"

I nodded, still feeling the ripping agony of it all, I just leaned into him, I shoved my face into his chest, tears wetting his t-shirt, I hugged him tightly as he held me and stroked the back of my head, kissing the top of my head every once in a while. I really didn't know what I'd do without him. I certainly wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him. Sighing, I managed to whisper out in pain,"I love you." before I lost consciousness.

**Authors note.**

**Okay that was a horribly dark chapter at the end. Next one will be full of fluff to make up for it. any suggestions leave them in a review. I wrote a graphic scene because I wanted to expound on the feelings, not just dance around them. For a story to be good you need to feel what the character feels. I wanted you guys to feel his pain. I hope I didn't go too over the top.**


	5. Chapter 5

I felt him go limp in my arms and I closed my eyes tightly. "It _will_ be okay one day Trent. I promise I'm going to get you through this." I whispered to the unconscious man in my arms. Looking at him he seemed so calm and peaceful, almost innocent. A man who had had a rough life with no shelter from a hurricane. I pulled him closer, stroking over the back of his head, unable to get the picture of a gun pressed to the back of his skull out of my mind. I shivered and placed a soft kiss where the barrel of the gun had been, it's not a sight I ever wanted to see again. I inhaled this man's scent, smiling at the smell of old spice and gun powder. Of course he would smell of gun powder, I stroked over his cheek fondly. I honestly couldn't explain what had made me fall in love with this man so rapidly. It was like a tornado tearing through me, running in my veins. I snorted, if any of my co-workers laid eyes on me right now, well they'd think I'd lost my mind.

But I hadn't. No, I had just fallen head over heels in love with Trent Kort. I smiled. I ran my hand down his arm enjoying the feel of my hand against his warm, ivory skin, the friction sending goosebumps up my arms. I closed my eyes feeling our body heat mix making it seem like we had melted and melded into one. I shuddered imagining what it would feel like if we ever made love. I snorted 'if'. We would, but only when Trent was ready, I wouldn't push him even though he was a beautiful man. He really was a one of a kind beauty. I had been lusting over him ever since he slammed me against the elevator door after he blew up my car. I nearly laughed. He was so strong, and warm, his body heat flew out of him like a furnace even though we were seven inches apart. I could smell his scent, I studied his fine features, the beautiful angles his face held that made me want to run a finger over his features, the five o'clock shadow that I longed to rub my cheek against, the perfect jaw line I wanted to wet with kisses, the thin, perfectly curved, rough lips that caressed his deep, accented words that made me tremble, especially when I imagined them around mine. And those eyes, changing from brown to blue, to a hazel-green. And the way he looked in a tight t-shirt. I could see his muscles rippling underneath his shirt, could feel the firmness and solidness that was Trent.

How I wished to pull our bodies together, pressing my entire body against his, to feel his body flowing underneath my hands, to feel his warmth and god to taste it, it almost drove me crazy to be near him when I wanted him so. I was ashamed when I watched the footage that Kort had brought over on Operation Frankenstein. I had sat in the back, luckily the room was dark, otherwise they would have noticed me. I watched in sick fascination. I tried to keep my eyes on the Kort in front of us but my eyes kept being drawn to the screen. He had just shaved, wearing the tightest black t-shirt available in his size and tight fitting black slacks, his brown eyes hard and cold. But god was he sexy, I bit my lip as I watched him punch Cobbs in the ribs, the strength in the punch making me gasp quietly, I raked my eyes over the beauty on screen, the tight, thin waist leading up to a firm well sculpted abdomen, the curve of his muscles bulging out of his shirt in all the right places, how I longed to run my hands over them, to give him hickey's and drive him as crazy as he drove me. I couldn't help but fantasize about him throughout the video, I left before anyone could notice I had been there and went to the bathroom.

I flushed as I sat on the toilet, face in my hands as I stared down at my erected cock. I had just watched Kort make a man into a monster, and I was hard. Just his name sent shivers down me. And the rare times he touched me, or I touched him, I felt a searing burn shock me. Like we were melded together. I craved more and more, it was torture when he left, but also a blessing because then I could finally concentrate on my job instead of his nicely shaped ass, betting myself it was firm, and would fill my hands just right. Yes, I lusted after him like a lost puppy dog, undressing him with my eyes most of the time, but it wasn't all just about the physical. The man was probably the strongest, and slyest I've ever met. There was no denying he was cunning and clever. Highly intelligent, and would do whatever it took to get a job done. He was determined, patient, he had a good understanding of human nature and how people would react to a situation. He could easily think four moves ahead, he always seemed to know just where to put pressure to make things happen. Not once have I ever really seen him angry, he had a tight grip on his feelings, and he was independent, use to taking care of himself. Not clingy.

He could make a conversation with anyone about anything, and could easily adjust and adapt to anything, anyone, any place. Any change. He could be what anyone wanted him to be. He was an amazing read of people, within seconds he could tell you what any single person was all about. It stunned me sometimes how he could just step into a room and read the situation correctly in seconds and adapt to it in half the time it took him to read it. And even more, the man actually had a sense of humor, even though it was slightly twisted, the banter that passed back and forth was reassuring and comforting. It had taken a while but I had slowly began to be at ease around Trent, I even found myself smiling slightly when I saw him at NCIS. Not that I ever let anyone see it. I enjoyed his company, he was no nonsense and he didn't feel the need to fill the silence with some mundane talk about warlocks and elf lords. I felt better with him at my side. Not cause I trusted him so much as I knew how good a shot he was and how ruthless he was. And as untrustworthy as Kort was he always kept his word.

Being around him made me feel stronger, I'd never admit this to anyone, as they were all so sure I had slammed Kort into the phone booth out of anger and protectiveness of Ziva, but I didn't. It was driving me insane sitting around while Cobbs was doing God knows what to her, I could feel the panic filling me, I had felt useless. I had went to see Kort. The moment I slammed him into the booth I felt better with him so close to me, the firm chest moving up and down with each every breathe he took, I could see the rage in his eyes as he angrily went off on me. I felt myself calm, my mind clearing, could feel myself going back to normal. He was just what I needed at that time, and when I had him pinned to the booth he was all I wanted. I really thought I was going to rip his clothes off and take him right then and there. I somehow managed to restrain myself but I promised myself that one day we would be together.

I looked down as he stirred in my arms. I loved him. I loved everything about him, I may not be able to explain why or how but it was true. And for once I loved both the body and the heart equally. That had never been the case with anyone but Jeanne. Kort just slipped unnoticed through my defenses like they weren't even there. Maybe it was because I never thought he and I ever had a chance, maybe it was because nothing that good ever happened to me. Taking his hand in mine I placed a soft kiss on the top of it, he was easily the best thing that's ever happened to me. And now that we were finally together I'd do my best to not mess it up. I laid him on the bed gently, sitting by his side I took off his shirt and pants and got him back into just his boxers, running a hand over his chest soothingly I turned him over gently, beginning to give him a neck and back massage, placing gentle kisses on his bald scalp. i closed my eyes breathing in, remembering the terrible screams that had issued from Kort only an hour ago. I shuddered. I never thought it could hurt me so much to see him in such agony, but to actually hear his side of the rape, hear his screams, and pleas, to hear him apologizing to me, and begging for me, calling my name out, to hear him whimper, and fight, to groan and grunt and cry, shake and sob in my arms...it shattered me.

I knew I had to be strong for him, I couldn't waste time pitying him, and feeling sorry that I couldn't save him. I had to heal him, had to be there for him, I couldn't do that if I kept breaking down. No matter how much it hurt this was about him, not me. I would make sure he got as much help as possible. I would do anything to ease his pain, I just wished I could take it all away. I didn't know what to do or say in this situation. I just hoped letting him know I was there and that I always loved him was enough. I sighed as I ran a finger down his spine, seeing him shiver under me, I smiled softly. The smile turned to a frown when I looked down at his thighs and saw a bruise that was hidden mostly by his tight underwear. He was wearing tight, white boxer-briefs that hugged his ass and cock so tightly I could see every vein and every curve in his ass and member. I couldn't begin to describe to you how much I wanted to rip down his underwear and fuck him so far into the bed he couldn't get back up.

But that wasn't the reason I began to pull off his boxers. I needed to see where the bruise went to, I had a suspicion but needed proof to get him some help. I felt horrible that I was violating the man's privacy in such a way, without him even knowing it, but I wanted to make sure he was okay. He obviously wasn't going to tell me himself. I winced, feeling the rage once more take hold of me. These past few days I've seemed to only experience overwhelming heart ache, love and rage. Only Trent could provoke such strong responses in me, I smiled softly before returning to the bruise that covered between his thighs, and his ass, growing darker around his enterance, dried blood crusted around it.

"Oh Trent. You should have told me." I said softly, wanting to finger the black bruise but not daring to, I gently slid his underwear back up. Calling my Father's Doctor in England I made an appointment with him, I knew Trent needed to get some professional help for the damage he had suffered down there. Whether he wanted to or not. We had left the hospital before they could address the issue. I just hoped he hadn't been infected. It would explain the fever and sickness. I took his hand in mine and got on my knees and prayed. Something I had never done before in my life. But I needed this man to be okay.

I looked him in the eyes as he woke up, I smiled and ran a hand over the back of his head. "Hey you. Are you okay?" I whispered as his blue haunted, tortured, eyes bored in to mine. He nodded silently, I took his hand in mine and tugged.

"Come on, we're almost there." I said, redressing him gently, my hands resting on his waist, feeling his bones under my hand I breathe in and place a kiss right under his belly button, I saw his eyes close as he placed a hand on the back of my head. I smiled and pulled his shirt over his head, he was smiling back up at me.

"Geez thanks Mom." He said sarcastically.

"Anytime darling." I said tweaking his nose, he glared at me, I pulled him up just as the plane landed. It only took us twenty minutes to check into our hotel room, giving him his meds, I fooled him into the car.

"DiNozzo please tell me you are not taking me out on a date. If I have to suffer through another movie with you I swear to god I will shoot you." He said coldly.

"Don't worry darlin', it's nothing like that." I drawled out in my best fake british accent as we pulled into a doctor's parking lot. Getting out with him, he looked at me curiously. I sighed.

"Trent...you need to be treated for the..the rape. You're hurt down there and it could get infected. We need to take care of this. I'm sure it hurts like hell." I said quietly as we stood in front of the car.

"You took off my clothes while I was asleep? What else did you do DiNozzo, did you fuck me then? I bet it was way easier to pin me down and take me that way." He sneered, I closed my eyes, feeling like he had just slapped me in the face.

"It wasn't like that Trent. I had seen the bruises between your thighs, I had to make sure you were okay. I just peeked. I didn't touch." I said softly, looking him in the eye, "I wouldn't do that to you Trent. I'm sorry I invaded your privacy, but you weren't telling me everything and I don't want you in pain." I nearly flinched when he moved his hand towards my face, he pulled his hand back as if he had been burned. I took it in his hand.

"_He'll _ have to touch me." He said quietly looking at the building. I closed my eyes unable to look at him, my heart hurting once more.

"I'll be right there Trent, I'll make sure he doesn't do anymore than he has to." I said squeezing his hand. "I promise it'll be okay." He just ignored me but I was finally able to lead him into the office, telling the receptionist who I was. She nodded and pointed me to an exam room, taking Trent I didn't think twice as we walked in the room, shrugging it off when I saw her dialing the phone. I closed the door, looking at the papers she had given me. I breathed in. As I walked behind Trent.

"Take your clothes off, from the waist down." I read quietly, he did as told, but in complete silence, I could see how tense he was, I directed him to lay down face down on the bed, making him spread his legs. It killed me to see him in that position. I thought it would turn me on but the look of torture on his face, the discomfort and fear and pain etched right into the lines of his mouth and eyes, made me question if I was doing the right thing or not. I sat next to him and rubbed his back. "It'll be okay Trent, it'll be over soon then we can get some meds for you and go back to our hotel room. Don't you worry."

He still remained silent, tensing even more as the door opened and the middle-aged doctor, that looked a bit like Tom Cruise entered the room. Snapping on latex gloves. I saw Trent's eyes close, he swallowed hard and flinched when the doctor stepped between his two legs. "He the rape victim?" I nodded quietly as I watched Trent with loving eyes. "Alright well, let's start."

"Mister Kort, I'm going to have to put my fingers up you. I'll be looking for tears and blood. Then I'll need to put a scope in you, and I may need to take a tissue sample for analysis. I will do this as painlessly as possible, you have no reason to be embarrassed, I've done this quite alot. just relax and it'll hurt less." He said smoothly, I sat on the bed next to Trent and wrapped an arm around his shoulders as the doctor opened his ass cheeks and put his finger inside Trent, my lover jerking up I grabbed him tight, whispering reassurances to him, he held onto my arm tightly, sure he'd love bruises I didn't even flinch. He wouldn't meet my eyes, his face was turning red, I could tell how humiliating and degrading this was to him.

"Is there anyway you could hurry up?" I asked softly, looking at the doctor, he nodded looking grim. Taking the scope he gently pushed it up, I heard Trent breathing heavily, grunting in pain. I hated to see him in pain but this had to be done. It didn't help ease my guilt though, not when Trent was in such agony inches from me. It was during the scoping that the door burst. I shot up, grabbing my gun before I realized I was staring at Gibbs. I still felt the urge to grab my gun, even as he looked at the scene calculatingly, squinting his eyes like he does when he doesn't understand something. I growled and shut the curtain around Trent, seeing him glare at Gibbs, trying to hide himself.

"You can wait outside Gibbs, I will come to see you when Trent's exam is done." I said coldly. I couldn't forgive Gibbs for leaving Trent behind in that hell hole to die with those horrible memories being his last. I took a deep breathe trying to get a hold of my anger, returning to Trent I kissed his temple. "Don't worry I'll deal with him. He'll do this for me. He has to." I said in his ear.

"I'm not worried about Gibbs, I'm worried about who he reports to." Kort replied

"We'll fly out of here as soon as we get your meds. We'll have to be more careful." I said, just as the doctor told us he was done and would send the blood down to analysis, writing him a perscription I took the directions.

"He has to rub this cream in his anal track to heal, three times a day, clean well before putting it on. He'll take these pills for infection. These both will last for two weeks." He said, I nodded and thanked him.

"Get dressed, I'm going to go see my boss." leaving Trent behind felt wrong, but I had no choice, I didn't know if Gibbs had come alone. I glared at the man I had once trusted.

"DiNozzo, you're going to explain to me why I had to fly-" I punched him in the face. Blood flew from his nose as he stumbled back, Ziva and McGee reaching for their guns but not drawing them, they looked shocked, and confused.

"You left him to die, you bastard." I hissed coldly, all feeling gone, feeling number and emptier than I had all year. I waited for the retaliation swing but instead he told McGee and Ziva to beat it.

"Tony, we need to talk." Gibbs said calmly, cleaning himself up with his handkerchief.

"CIA or anyone else follow you or know you are here?" I asked coldly, he shook his head. I sighed and nodded, "I guess we both owe each other that. There's a lunch room somewhere's near...here." I stepped into a room with a sofa and tables and plopped down on one.

"CIA and FBI put you on there most wanted list. You're a fugitive now Tony. Hiding a known criminal." Gibbs started, I felt the air go out of me. I suspected that would happen but to hear I was now the guy I once use to lock up was something completely different. I wondered if this is how Trent felt during his missions.

"Figured." I looked down, what could I say to Gibbs? There was nothing he could ever understand. How could I ever answer Why are you throwing your life away for Kort? in a way he'd understand. "You left him to die."

Gibbs sighed, "Yes DiNozzo I did. I figured he'd get out by himself. I didn't know he was as hurt as he was." I slumped back. "Why are you doing this Tony? Kort isn't your responsibility anymore. He never was. The man blew up your car and ruined your love life." Gibbs smirked at the last bit, I laughed at the irony.

"You'd never understand Gibbs. You'd probably send me for a psych eval." I snorted bitterly looking at my hands. "I don't know how to explain. I shouldn't have to. I wish you could just accept some things and move on, but I know that's not who you are."

"Can't help who I am Tony. But you've been my second in command, my Senior Field Agent for ten years DiNozzo. You can tell me. Who else you got to tell?" Gibbs said in the warmest tone I have ever heard him speak in.

"I don't know if I can trust you anymore. This...it's very dangerous...if I tell you it could have ramifications that would kill me." My voice shaked as I admitted to my mentor, the man who taught me everything I knew, the man who I owed everything. He was the only one who knew me inside and out, I'm surprised he hadn't figured it out by now. Hell he probably knew I loved Trent before I did. I smiled ruefully, as Gibbs looked at him expressionless.

"I'm sorry Tony." I heard Gibbs say I jerked my head up, Gibbs never apologized, it was a sign of weakness _except between friends._ But did Gibbs really consider me his friend? After all I was his subordinate, and it's not like we ever talked like friends do. I looked into his eyes, or was this all a ploy.

"Good for you Jethro." I winced as the words left my mouth, I don't know why I said them. My chest was tight, everything was wrong about this and it was completely fucking my mind over. It hurt to be so close to the man I considered a father and feel so very far away. Would my confession bring us closer or push us farther away, so far away we could never make up the distance? I felt torn, I wanted to tell him but then again I didn't. My insecurities were tearing me up inside. What would Gibbs say? What would he think? I mean I never even told him I was gay, let alone in love with Trent Kort. Would he fire me? Would I disgust him? Would he think me a total idiot? Would he accuse Trent of playing with my emotions, of fooling me into believing his love is true? I didn't need to be judged by my boss right now on top of everything else.

He just stared at me expectantly. "You gonna tell me, or do I have to get Ziva?" He said lightly, smirking slightly. I chuckled nervously.

I coughed and looking at my hands, "Trent and I...we're together Gibbs. I'm in love with him. I have been for quite a while." I waited for the anger, for the condemnation but instead silence was my reply. I looked up at him. He looked very amused.

"It's about time for god's sake I thought I'd have to play match maker." Gibbs said smiling slightly, my eyes bulged before I shrunk back in myself, thinking, feeling resentment rise in him, I gave him a dark look.

"If you knew I loved him why didn't you help him?" I said carefully.

"I don't like or trust him. But I didn't know how hurt he was." Gibbs said quietly.

I got up quickly and leaned over and hissed, "No you didn't. Think about what you saw in that room. I must get back to Kort. He's probably wondering if we've killed each other."

"DiNozzo, I'll try to keep the CIA off your trail as long as possible, but you can't run forever. You're gonna need a game plan eventually. If you ever have one, call me." I nodded watching him collect Ziva and McGee, I could tell they were arguing, asking why I wasn't coming with them. I returned to Trent.

"Still alive. Good. Now you can get me out of this blasted place!" He snarled, I raised my eyebrow.

"Well someone is grouchy. Don't worry you'll be napping on the plane Mister." I said smiling, grabbing his arm and trying to lead him out of the room. He glared at me, shoving me hard off of him, I grunted in pain as the small of my back hit the corner of the counter hard, I gave a thin cry of pain, feeling it dig into my spine, stars shooted in my eyes as I began feeling numb and woozy.

I barely saw him turn around before he grabbed me as I began to sink to the floor, I breathed heavily, old spice filling my nostrils as I rested my head on his shoulder. He held me up, I tried standing but it's like my legs no longer existed. "Trent." I said in fear, not use to not being able to feel my limbs.

"I'm sorry Tony. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to harm you." I nodded as he held me up, "I am just not feeling like myself."

"Or maybe too much like yourself." I mumbled to myself, but I knew he heard me, he tensed, his arms almost letting me go. I cringed. I knew I had just hurt him. I was the only one who knew he was a real human being, the only one that acknowledged that the person he was during a job wasn't really the true him. But I had just refuted that right to his face. I as good as spit in his face and call him a whore. I wisely kept silent as he continued to drag me out of the doctors and to the car. He drove us back to the plane, by the time we boarded I was beginning to feel back to normal.

After hurting him so I didn't expect what happened next, nor did I expect what was soon to come.


End file.
